Category Archives: Marriage

Never Means Never

Dear Sovereign Redeemer and other friends,

In late July, 2013, I authored a post titled “That Will Never Be Marriage,” chronicling the breathtaking speed of change with regards to homosexual marriage and bringing the Bible to bear. Part of that post expressed my intention to repost it each of the next five years just to keep this issue occasionally before our eyes. So here goes!

“That Will Never Be Marriage” (posted in full below)
“Reprise: That Will Never Be Marriage“
“Still Not Marriage“
And now, “Never Means Never” (this post)

That Will Never Be Marriage

Dear Sovereign Redeemer and other friends,

The progress made by the proponents of homosexual marriage is nothing short of breathtaking. If momentum means anything at all, it will only be another year or two until same-sex marriage has been so overwhelmingly accepted in the United States that those who oppose it won’t even have a significant platform for articulating objections. The advocates who have so skillfully advanced it will have the luxury of just shrugging and waving us off with disdain. In my lifetime, we will have switched spots.

Almost forgotten is the God who called all things into existence with only the words of His mouth. He is the One that keeps the debate from being over. God should never, ever be left out of any equation, because no matter what mankind says or does, He always speaks last, and what He says goes. In card playing lingo, every card in His hand is an ace of spades. Always the highest card. Always trump. Always.

And so that will never be marriage, no matter how many people say it is or how long they say it. Two men, no matter what they say or what they do, can never be married. Two women, no matter what they say or what they do, can never be married. Because marriage is God’s, and no amount of momentum can ever change that. It is His institution, given in the first chapter of the book of beginnings. “So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Then God blessed them, and God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it…’” (Genesis 1:27-28a). “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24). This is God’s. This is marriage.

Is there another view to be had in all of Scripture? No. None. The last prophet of the Old Testament is simply representative: “You cover the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping and crying; so He does not regard the offering anymore, nor receive it with goodwill from your hands. Yet you say, ‘For what reason?’ Because the LORD has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. But did He not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth.” (Malachi 2:13b-15). Three profound things are learned from the three questions in the text and their answers: God responds when His institution of marriage is dishonored, it is only God who can make two one, and He does so to increase those who honor Him. All three of these truths stand immovably between God’s creatures and any such thing as gay marriage.

And the New Testament seals this truth with stunning clarity. Having spoken at length about how husbands and wives must relate to one another, Paul says this: “This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.” (Ephesians 5:32). This is why, just a few verses earlier, he said that husbands must act like Christ and wives must act like the church. Because this institution was created by God to play out the most sacred drama – the gospel drama – before a home and before a world. So Christians can never, ever accept homosexual marriage, because it fundamentally upends the gospel drama. It destroys the gospel picture that God created marriage to be. And so that will never be marriage.

I am setting reminders on my calendar to republish this each year for the next five years, because saying it once won’t be nearly enough. I will need to lay my eyes on these words again and again myself, and I’m guessing you will too. And when we read it, we will remember that God always has the highest card to play, that He always plays trump, and that He will act at just the right moment.

“Why do the nations rage, and the people plot a vain thing? The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together, against the LORD and against His Anointed, saying, ‘Let us break Their bonds in pieces and cast away Their cords from us.’ He who sits in the heavens shall laugh; the Lord shall hold them in derision. Then He shall speak to them in His wrath, and distress them in His deep displeasure: ‘Yet I have set My King on My holy hill of Zion.’… Now therefore, be wise, O kings; be instructed, you judges of the earth. Serve the LORD with fear, and rejoice with trembling. Kiss the Son, lest He be angry, and you perish in the way, when His wrath is kindled but a little. Blessed are all those who put their trust in Him.” (Psalm 2:1-6, 10-12).

Brothers and sisters, our duty is to declare the truth of Scripture, never letting the light of that truth be extinguished by even the greatest multitude, and to pray fervently that when our God acts, it will be to grant repentance and faith to those enslaved to sin, and not to send the judgment we so richly deserve. May we be found laboring tirelessly towards those ends!

Still Not Marriage

Dear Sovereign Redeemer and other friends,

At the very end of July 2013, I posted “That Will Never Be Marriage” and promised to republish it annually for five years. This is now year three.

That Will Never Be Marriage

Is there another view to be had in all of Scripture? No. None. The last prophet of the Old Testament is simply representative: “You cover the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping and crying; so He does not regard the offering anymore, nor receive it with goodwill from your hands. Yet you say, ‘For what reason?’ Because the LORD has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. But did He not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth.” (Malachi 2:13b-15). Three profound things are learned from the three questions in the text and their answers. God responds when His institution of marriage is dishonored, it is only God who can make two one, and He does so to increase those who honor Him. All three of these truths stand immovably between God’s creatures and any such thing as gay marriage.

A Wonderful Launch

Dear Sovereign Redeemer and other friends,

Psalm 127:3-4 says this: “Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb is a reward. 4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth.”

This past Saturday, June 13, 2015, the first Dohm arrow was launched into the world for King Jesus. Here is a pic, taken just a few minutes before we entered the sanctuary.

Scott Brown, who officiated Janet and my wedding almost twenty-four years ago, did the same for Anna and Tyler on Saturday. Here are the four points from the wedding sermon, which Scott addressed to the couple:

You are walking through a door. Marriage is God’s holy institution which He loves (Malachi 2:11), so people who marry should understand that they are entering into something that God created for His own purposes.
You are making a home. God wants marriages that bring heaven to earth, creating wonderful little worlds – homes – where God is loved and obeyed, and where the sweetness of His kingdom is known every day.
You are declaring a gospel. As Paul makes so clear in Ephesians 5, marriage is intended to depict Jesus Christ’s life-sacrificing love for His bride, the church, and the bride’s honor for and obedience to Christ.
You are preparing for heaven. Marriage is wonderful because it is a foretaste of the great celebration at the culmination of history, spoken of in Revelation 19:7-9:

“Let us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and
His wife has made herself ready.” 8 And to her it was granted to be arrayed in fine linen, clean and bright, for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints. 9 Then he said to me, “Write: ‘Blessed are those who are called to the marriage supper of the Lamb!'” And he said to me, “These are the true sayings of God.”

What a delight to have launched Tyler and Anna out into the world to serve their King more fruitfully together than they even did apart.

defendingmarriage.com

Dear Sovereign Redeemer and other friends,

Some friends of mine have recently activated defendingmarriage.com, and I think it will prove very helpful to the Lord’s people. The purpose of the site to inform and equip the church, giving Christians who would like to track the debate the latest news, what the Bible has to say, and how persecution of those who are taking a stand for the words of Scripture is taking place.

I hope you find it helpful.

What the Beauty of the Bride Says About the Bridegroom

Dear Sovereign Redeemer and other friends,

Friday was the first ever Sovereign Redeemer wedding, and consequently the first wedding I have ever officiated. I have to admit to being nervous. It goes without saying that this is THE BIG DAY for the bride and groom and their families, and no one wants to be the weak link that takes away from the plans of the day.

Here is the happy couple, just after being pronounced man and wife and exiting the sanctuary:

I had the privilege of delivering a short message, doubled in time by sequential translation into German (the bride and her family are from Germany). My focus was to establish how earthly marriage is a picture of the heavenly marriage, and then use that to speak of one undeniable observation about our weddings. I hope you find it encouraging.

The Beauty of the Bride

The Bible begins and ends with a wedding. It begins with a human wedding, the wedding of Adam and Eve in Genesis 2. It ends with a heavenly wedding, the wedding of Christ and His Church in Revelation 19 and 21. In between, in Ephesians 5, Paul teaches us that this is not a coincidence, that human marriage was meant by God to be a picture of the heavenly marriage.

This, of course, has profound implications for our conduct in marriage. If we play our roles according to God’s design, we will display to the world the beauty of Christ’s redeeming love for His Church – that Jesus saves His Church – and that His Church joyfully follows Him. If we play our roles in unfitting ways, we will give the world a warped, distorted picture of Christ and the Church.

With that as the context, I want to make an undeniable observation about our human weddings and say why I think it is appropriate and what it means about Christ and His Bride.

Here is the observation: THE BRIDE. Behold the bride! She’s beautiful! And the groom is handsome, but I promise you that no one is going to remember the groom!

To be more biblically accurate, it should probably be the groom coming down the aisle, because it is Jesus who comes for His bride, but it is never the groom, it is always the bride! There is always “that moment” when the bride enters, and we’re always in awe.

Here is why I think that’s okay: in the context of human marriage as a picture of the heavenly marriage, the bride’s glory – the Church’s glory – is a reflected glory and actually brings great glory to Jesus Christ. In other words, the groom isn’t diminished in any way by the bride being breath-taking. He is actually greatly honored.

Let me explain using 3 brief texts of Scripture:

Isaiah 64:6a, “But we are all like an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are like filthy rags”. This is what all of us are in ourselves. We think well of ourselves and offer up our very best things, assuming that they will be pleasing to God, or at least acceptable, only to find that they are like filthy rags to Him, because He is holy and we are actually filthy. Now how does Isaiah’s description of us compare with today’s bride? Our second text will help explain this profound difference between what Isaiah says and the obvious beauty of the bride:

Colossians 1:21-22, “And you, who once were alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet now [Jesus Christ] has reconciled in the body of His flesh through death, to present you holy, and blameless, and above reproach in His sight”. Through His death, Jesus Christ reconciles us to His perfectly righteous and perfectly just Father. He makes us pure. Though our sins are like scarlet, he cleanses us and makes us as white as snow (Isaiah 1:18).

In Revelation 19:7, the heavenly wedding is called “the marriage of the Lamb.” It is surprising to me that it is not called “the marriage of the Son,” or “the marriage of the Prince of Peace,” or “the marriage of the King” – any one of Jesus’ more majestic titles. The only way I can think of to explain this is that for His wedding, Jesus covets the title of Redeemer. It is the Lamb that was slain from the foundation of the world (Revelation 13:8) that makes the bride a bride, and it is the Lamb that makes her lovely, and so the heavenly wedding is “the marriage of the Lamb.”

Revelation 19:6-8, “And I heard, as it were, the voice of a great multitude, as the sound of many waters and as the sound of mighty thunderings, saying, ‘Alleluia! For the Lord God Omnipotent reigns! Let us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His wife has made herself ready.’ And to her it was granted to be arrayed in fine linen, clean and bright, for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints.”

At this heavenly wedding, the bride is beautifully dressed in clean, bright, fine linen, and this is the righteous acts of the saints. In other words, believers aren’t left where we were found – we are moved into a life of grateful obedience, where it is our great delight to do things that glorify our redeeming Bridegroom, our saving Bridegroom.

Believing friends, you who are in Christ: look at the bride in all her glory, in all her beauty, and glorify Jesus Christ! It is His glory to take sinners and do THIS!

Unbelieving friends, you who today are outside of Christ: consider your life and be wise! In the parable in Matthew 22, a king arranges a wedding for his son. During the course of the wedding, the king notices a man present who isn’t wearing wedding garments. The king rebukes this man and commands that he be cast outside where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. If you have not fully and only trusted in the work of Jesus Christ on the cross, I tell you today that unless you repent you will likewise perish! You will eternally perish! Let today be the day that you repent and believe in Jesus Christ, the redeeming Bridegroom.

In closing, I would like to read a final passage: Revelation 21:1-5, “Now I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away. Also there was no more sea. Then I, John, saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, ‘Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.’ Then He who sat on the throne said, ‘Behold, I make all things new.’ And He said to me, ‘Write, for these words are true and faithful.’”

Behold the heavenly wedding! Please pray with me.

Reprise: That Will Never Be Marriage

Dear Sovereign Redeemer and other friends,

I originally posted “That Will Never Be Marriage” a year ago. It is as needful a blast of the trumpet as it was a year ago, and maybe more so. In the post, I said I was setting reminders on my calendar to republish this each year for the next five years, and so I did. So without further ado:

That Will Never Be Marriage

Is there another view to be had in all of Scripture? No. None. The last prophet of the Old Testament is simply representative: “You cover the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping and crying; so He does not regard the offering anymore, nor receive it with goodwill from your hands. Yet you say, ‘For what reason?’ Because the LORD has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. But did He not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth.” (Malachi 2:13b-15). Three profound things are learned from the three questions in the text and their answers. God responds when His institution of marriage is dishonored, it is only God who can make two one, and He does so to increase those who honor Him. All three of these truths stand immovably between God’s creatures and any such thing as gay marriage.

Twenty-Three Years of Wedded Bliss

Dear Sovereign Redeemer and other friends,

Outside of the day I was born again by the grace of God, the most important and wonderful day of my life was Saturday, June 29, 1991, the day Janet Mizelle walked up the aisle on the arm of her father and then walked back down that aisle on my arm as Janet Dohm.

Months before that day, I desperately wanted her to agree to marry me, but I’m still not entirely sure why she did. Janet was and is lovely, intelligent, fun, funny, godly, and above all, God-fearing and God-loving. The term “better half” has never been more appropriate. God has been so kind to give us twenty-three very happy years together, and my prayer is that our love for each other would continue to grow as we “grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” (2 Peter 3:18a).

The Secret of Happiness in the Home

Dear Sovereign Redeemer and other friends,

It is hard to find a Scripture text that is the equal of Psalm 128 in terms of describing a happy home and what it takes to have one. It was an honor to have drawn the assignment to speak on this topic during a recent NCFIC “Master’s Plan for Fatherhood” conference in New York City.

My favorite line: “The secret is there is no secret. There is only God. God is the key.”

Happy listening, if you dare!

The Power of a Gospel-Centered Marriage

Dear Sovereign Redeemer and other friends,

Of the talks that I was asked to give at a recent NCFIC conference in New York City, “The Power of a Gospel-Centered Marriage” was my favorite, but just by a nose (“The Secret of Happiness in the Home” was right on its heels).

My favorite line: “If you chase happiness in your marriage, you’ll end up miserable. But if you pursue God, you’ll end up happy. Happiness is a fruit.”

Happy listening, if you dare!

That Will Never Be Marriage

Dear Sovereign Redeemer and other friends,

And so that will never be marriage, no matter how many people say it is or how long they say it. Two men, no matter what they say or what they do, can never be married. Two women, no matter what they say or what they do, can never be married. Because marriage is God’s, and no amount of momentum can ever change that. It is His institution, given in the first chapter of the book of beginnings. “So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Then God blessed them, and God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it…'” (Genesis 1:27-28a). “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24). This is God’s. This is marriage.